Wrong Step..

I fully understand once a person took the wrong step it might cause changes to the rest of the life..It might be better or worse..

As for me,most of the time i feel worse.Partly is because of myself partly is the people around me,i don't feel much of the blessing and assurance.Sometimes i really feel like running away,find a place and hide so that nobody can find me because i was thinking what's the point of me letting people know more about me but end up they look at me one kind,think of me differently,misunderstand me and i got to explain?After explaining that does not mean they could know how i am feel as they have not been in the situation that's why all they could be thinking is "Why are you so stupid?" "At the first place you should not let things to happen?" "Why don't let it end earlier?"...After all this shooting questions all i could think of is "IF" i know what is the consequences i wont chose this path,and can anyone predict their own future???Who wants all this to happen?!People like me tends to be more sensitive as we been through things which not suppose to be at my age and after all i am a woman..i did not failed on my duties or responsibilities towards my commitments,so i wont want anybody to look down on me,it will only make me feel unfair and hurt.Don't add salt to my wounds anymore.

*Don't ever use my past to judge or doubts my personality..I am Who i Am.

*UPDATES* Trip to Guangzhou

In the plane..On our way there..Yes!












Pictures Taken at Guangzhou..

Upon arriving at the airport,we saw their MacDonald signboard in Mandarin..















Electronic Bus?
















Miniature Pearl Milk Tea












His's & Hers Slipper

Our 6th Month Anniversary...SURPRISE!

23rd June 2008 was our anniversary..He bought me to Jack's Place for dinner on 22Nd June(Sun),follow by a stroll @Mount Faber.And that's the place he surprise me with a neckless..A heart shape pendant with a movable mini heart.I love it!

This is the first celebration we had for our anniversary,definitely not every month if not will go bankrupt.Not sure why of all month,he chosen this month to give me this surprise but it doesn't matter.As long as happy can already.The next surprise which i receive from him on actual day was A bouquet of roses!And i was really really shock as this is the first time i receive roses from him,very nice,3 colours(Pink,Blue & Red) Never thought a person like him will do this because i always said that he is not romantic at all..Hee..Sometimes act abit siao siao also so i din expect..

Thank you my dear!

Is marriage that SCARY???

Recently i been chasing the 9pm show on Channel 8..In that show there is different type of scenario,3 married couple & 1 pair unmarried couple..All meets with different kind of problems.

Scenario Of Married Couple

Actress -Zoe Tay(Bao Yu) Actor : I 4get the real name (Known as Jia Jie)
A older couple who married for 16years with 2children -The husband left family because of other woman. What the hell!

Actress -Ann Kok(Xiu Hui) Actor: Tay Ping Hui (Quan He)
Early thirties married couple with 5years old son who is suffering from mild depression due o the force from Mum to go for so many courses.Wife is a workaholic till cant even remember the Son's birthday.Making both husband & son utterly disappointed,sad & dejected.Hubby request for a divorce..

Actress: Dun know real name(Known as Ting Ting) Actor:Dun know also(Known As Bao Guo)
Young married couple who plan to enjoy their life without kids yet but something unexpected came up,the wife is pregnant and the best part is TWINS..Their so called nightmare came right after that as they are needed to scrimp & save for the sake of their babies..

Well.. It sounds so scary rite?All those sacrificing for this & that,but all is worth doing if the marriage work out well till the end..What if fail?Effort will be gone down the drain..And sadness will start pouring in..That's why don't ever get married if a person is not ready financial,mentally & physically..Must have full responsibility's & Commitment..

I think i kind of get effected by the show,start to have fear for marriage..Yucks!So scary..The same thing,I am afraid of changes,i dont want to lose the feelings i used to have..

*Happiness is in your hand,Dont ruin it or take it for GRANTED*...

Blog..Blog...Blog & Blog...

Blogging had become my past time...A way for me to vent my frustration,voice out my unhappiness and share my happiness...Just like a diary for me to pen down whatever things that had been happening..So please do not stop me ok..Unless you people want to be my punching bag.. :)

So Complicated....

Lately,my life seem like getting more complicated..A wrong move made me ans everything,making me to brood over it again and again trying to convince myself that my decision is right,then again i got this strange feeling that will not be the right place for me to move on...Shit!This is shit!I adding problems for myself!What a fool!Nobody can help me except myself...

Problem No.2
Somehow or rather, I really dislike such feelings when i got to follow other's mood..If they are in good mood they will treat you like a princess,when they are not they can simply vent their anger/frustration/unhappiness on you..In this way,it might affect my mood too..Just like a roller coaster..
Your heart will goes Up and Down,Slow n Fast..

And recently i feel something missing ---> Like a missing piece of Jigsaw Puzzle,is just not complete without it..So from this moment on,i got to try my best to find the missing part...

Actually i am so afraid that i could never get it back unless there's someone else who are willing to find it for me or find it with me..I start to miss those days..Memories are always sweet..I prefer to keep in my heart if i cant get it back..People do change without realizing it..No matter how long the relationship could be 5yrs,10yrs,15 or 20yrs,change means change who cares whether the time is long or short.. But i hate that..Dont understand what makes the changes..

*Up to now.. I am still waiting ... Waiting for my dream to come true ... Give me a good and memorable one Please...

Stone In My Heart.....Halfway to Sucess..

There's something in my heart that had been troubling me for some time,and was wondering will it be solved or always it will remain as it is..

On 16June,He had surprise me with a gd news telling me the truth had been reveal and at the moment i was very shock,happy and speechless...(Only those who are very very close to me will know wat is the "SURPRISE")Well,somehow or rather my heart start beating so fast,dun know how to really react toward these,perhaps it had been in my heart for so long with all kinds of imagination,worries,sadness and countless of doubts..After all,I really feel happy and relieved..But i does not want to put in full hopes yet as i am afraid of disappointment,(just in case)at least i wont be that miserable.One thing for sure and all along these had been my dreams and wish,which is if everything goes accordingly as plan and works well i definately want to have the feeling of "Bless"(All i want is this)..

**Thank you so much by making efforts to find chance to reveal it. At the same time,i feel so sorry that you gonna go through this with me,which is not necessary for you to do so.

Life is just like a Roller Coaster....

I feel so sorry and bad towards my readers as whenever they read my blog most of the time is something unhappy...But no choice,all these are what i am facing right now,hopefully my future blog will be a happy 1...

For the past few weeks i had been feeling down until these 2 days when i was about to recover,something else happen again.. Met with somethings that really broke my heart into pieces.1 of the thing which make me hard to accept is gal went for eye check up and was told that her eyes are facing with high power shortsighted of 275degree!Can you imagine how painful and miserable i feel?She's still so small yet having the need to wear a high degree specs.This cant be carry on as it might lead to blindness if the power keep increasing within short period,i dun want this to happen and i wont let it happen.

Another nightmare of mine...The one and only person that i can depend on,trust,respect,deeply love has actually make me so heartbroken till i felt as if is already end of the world..Tat person is my mum.In my eyes,she is a wonderful and noble mum who make sacrifice and provide her children with unconditional love.But at times when the security level is not there she will start to get panic hence negative thinking start to flood in her brain and it will lead to WAR.Indeed it is a painful war which i am going through coz when a person had make you leave down good impression and out of sudden it turn to a devil that start using nasty words against you it can be real hurt..painful.I just feel so helpless and no sense of direction to move on.I am so tired seem like no one can really let me rely on and share burdens..One problem after another,i wonder how long i can fight on..I know i just a burden to everyone.All i can do now is just depend on myself no matter what happen.

I always believe that "Everything happens for a reason"

**All i want is to feel happy,even if just a short period like few days or weeks i am contented enough.Plsss..Grant my wish for being totally problem free.

Weeks Of Hardwork....Congrats Dear!

Yesterday can consider a happy day for me as the past few weeks i had been feeling super down..At 12pm,i received a call from my boyfriend after his interview,his voice sound so sad and i was like thinking,Huh?Not again?Dont tell me u din get the job?Then he told me they ask him to start work on 07thJuly,i pause awhile and tot of scolding him WTH!Shit u!Bluff me!but i did not..Well,finally...after weeks of searching,sending resumes and a few interviews..Your hardwork had been paid off! All these can get a person real frustrated when not manage to find a job,Like a saying "If hand stop,Mouth also stop"...Phew! I am very very happy for him yet kind of worried as he will be in sales line in airfreight/seafreight coz entertainment might be involved..Though i know that he himself dont like it but sometimes no choice if not how to build rapport with Customers....(Networking are very important).. Well,no matter what i just hope it will not affect us..

For that special someone............

Out of sudden many thoughts just came right into my mind....

All i want is:
To love you for the rest of my life
To wake up every morning with you by my side,knowing that no matter what happens i will be able to come home to your loving arms.

All i want is to:
Share everything with you......
Talk to you about our ideas,our dreams,the little everyday things that could make us laugh,and the not so little things that we can't help worrying about.

All i want is:
To give you all my love as a place you can always come for acceptance
To provide the simple comfort that silence brings when things left unspoken yet can still be understood...

And lastly...All i want is:
To grow old with you to watch our life unfold,our dreams,one by one come true and to love you forever...

Things will never be the same again?

People do change..But change for better or worst?What makes the changes?Time or Environment? Is there a time limit for relationship?The longer a couple be together,will the relationship turn sour?

I suppose before a couple could get together there must be chemistry and feeling in order to move on.Some relationship have to overcome difficulities before they could get together,hence i think got to treasure each other more.Myself do envy those couples who are loving towards each other especially those long run relationship,maybe just on surface however i still envy.. ;)better than nothing.. I wonder when people will feel happy and envy me with sincere heart..

Infact,myself hate changes,until now i still dont understand..As for me,the longer i am in the relationship i will get more committed and that person will become part of my life.Well,of course i dont expect everyone to think like me.Perhaps i should change myself,be less emotional and heck care in this way i might not feel the pain too much if anything happens.. :( Action speaks louder than words,no point saying those sweet for nothing n giving promises whereas there's no way to predict the future.Unless the person is positive and confident enough to give others the promises and make sure it will come true no matter what happen.

Quote:The simplest requests could turn out to be the hardest..

What makes me think in that way?Just like a saying -->The most dangerous place could be the safest place to hide..

Life is full of ups and downs(Yes,It is true)And what is the most important when a person is down - They just need a shoulder to cry on n listening ears(Need some1 to give them support and be more patience)

When i am facing problems,Sometimes i would rather the person remain ignorance towards it as my thinking is "If you wanna treat me good,Pls treat me good all the way,If not just ignore me" Is kind of scary and give me fear when i am feeling blessed,still enjoying it and the next moment i feel like hell.This will definitely cause nervous breakdown.The worst part: Being misunderstand when you are down by others(A true heartbreaking feelings) It might create a double blow..Nothing is hard to understand,Is either understand it well or dump it aside..Being patience is the greatest help no matter in what situations.

When a person is down...

This morning i was listening to the radio and i came across this topic of the day. The question is 1)Are you happy?2)Or rather everyday you are telling yourself that you gonna be happy? And they mention that if someone got to ask themselves to be happy that shows that infact they are not happy at all.So..I think i am in deep shit,I had been consoling myself everyday,tell myself i got to stay happy no matter what happen.How?What should i do?What is true happiness?Actually i am just a simple next door gal who dont request much for my life, What i want is --->

1) Simple and Peaceful lifestyle
2) A loving happy family - Apply for both side family
3) Someone who can truly love me,treasure me,committed,responsible and serious towards relationship
4) To remain healthy - Without a gd health,nothing can be accomplished
5) A stable job - Able to take stress but not over stress as i am a human not machine
6) To have my own business
7) Money - Enough will do,dont wish to stress over financial
8) Lastly,My dreams will come true(Not sure when but i hope i can wait)Life is short

Past will always be Past or Let Bygones b Bygones?

Sometimes i really dont understand the above phrase,which is suppose to be or depend on the situation?Even if so,at times i just cant accept myself.Y?Maybe due to not confident enough or lack of courage to face it.Actually i really hope and want to feel bless but i dont know how,i just dont want to be too naive or ignorance if not i end up make myself like a clown if things dont work out the way as it is.Or perhaps just tell myself that dont look too far,just be happy and treasure whatever i have now then later on just face and accept no matter how bad the situation could be in the future?If only i could turn back the time,i would never let such things to happen...

I just feel so weak...Insecure

I was wondering what had actually happen to me recently,My chest feel so tight,breathless and insecure.I need protection,i need security.I just wanna feel secure with a pair of strong arms wrap around me,just wanna hide there till i get better.

Every morning when i step into this place it make me feel as if i am in hell,everyone look so devilish to me and it make me gets extremely cold.The worst thing is they are kind of temperamental(Tell me,such people are difficult to manage right?) Sometimes i though i could be strong to endure as much as possible 4 the sake of my dreams but i get defeated and hence i felt weak and got to push myself up again..this is simply too tired and stress.No words can describe my pain,is not that i don't want to voice out as some things when it happen in a indirect ways make it hard to explain all,it can be very painful for me too if i just keep in my heart,Wat i can do beside crying in silent?I just need a little patience n understanding from my loved ones in order for me to overcome i know is kind of difficult to face such situation with me but all i request for is Forgiveness if i had been making any1 who cares n worried for me.