It's been a hard week for me...

Hmmmm....Had alot of things in my mind but not sure where should i start..

Perhaps start off with an unusual Sunday?Well,had been at shop the whole day to accompany him as he will be on reservist for the whole week(Monday 30/06 to Sat 05/07),and he wont be home as the camp is sooooo far away..and since this is the case which means i am not able to see him for the whole damn week..how terrible this could be as this is the first time we had to be "Separate" for a week which had never happen after 23Dec....Maybe should try doing this often so that i can get used to it right?..Hee..But to be frank i dont hope for such as it is kind of miserable..Those reading must be thinking "What the hell"??Just a week only but said until like years right.So my dear readers, Pardon me for being so mushy or nonsense..Not everybody can understand how i feel about this.The feelings is just like you had lost something and it seem like cant make your day complete without it,as "He"(My dear)had already belongs to part of my life just dislike the feelings of "So near yet so far"..I always claim myself as being independent,can do everything on my own,can survive without anybody..but guess i am wrong.Actually i need more,need more than anyone else does..Since young i am lack of security,lack of whatever is needed during my childhood.In order not to worry anyone with my sadness,my unhappiness i chose to swallow and fight back my tears in silent and darkness..Will hiding too much causes me not being able to express myself when i grow up?and end up it has become a habit just like now..I'm not sure either.But indeed is painful for oneselves to take as will cause breakdown at times when can't hold any longer.That's why i always mention that i need someone who is stronger than me mentally in order to take care of me,makes me open up so that i can breathe easily..I need security,I need protection..I know i am someone who seem so hard to handle,people might think that i am a attention seeker?No..I'm not..Just need alittle care and concern,that's make me truly contented.